Poem from inside of my head.

Heres something a little different. I wrote these words from my head.
Thanks readers.
Gracie

A Yorkshire Lads Commandments.

      It is umble, a coontry life,

     It’s na like a Lunnon life;

     Yet ar daddy’s morals guides, an continues to preside

     Oer the rest of my umble Yorkshire life.

     Taught to be kind and always sincere,

      Never a bribe shall evar tempt me;

     If yoo can become a Yorkshire Lad,

      A rogue ill niva deceive yoo.

     Ar neighbours tongue, wet with envy

     Will owl abart ar coonty,

     Na men o' t' dis earth, boast a gretar worth,

     Or vow to protect ar sweet coontry.

     Her sweet northern wind will ever remind os,

    A walk on the moor is ar duty an an honour;

    Ma cares in, gossip n fleeting village affairs,

    Concern yet seem to miss me.

     Sea good man, Is only a product,

     Ov his own home, shire or nation,

     The land does praise and reward us, 

     Through our prestigious local eddication;

     Us lads must protect ar honest souls,

      An deliver us from them that ar armin',

     As ar mammies did teach us

      Good manners, respect, an to be always' larnin'.

Diets, Dickheads and Delights of Third Year

So, I've started Uni again which I'm hugely enjoying. This year is my final year and I really feel like I'm coming into my own. I feel like for once I'm getting it and I'm understanding it. Its only taken two years. I am inspired, I am motivated and I am enjoying it. I have kept up with the work and the reading which I never feel like I ever completely manage. I have started two essays early. Yeah... Im feeling confident, however how long this will last I`m not really sure. This is the year for positivism. 

This week has had its wobbles, I'm finding it hard to maintain friendships. As a Gemini I find it hard to issue the same advice constantly only to have it ignored. I need to remain calm and not push my friends away as I always inevitable do. I feel I act as peoples conscious, and this is why they come to me for advice because they know what I say they should be doing, however this little voice in their head/ or me is in due course ignored. This is frustrating. 

I have also found some of my friends only contact me with news of themselves and their good fortune, this is tiresome. However we are all guilty of this on occasion are we not ?I feel this week has been a week of choking on other peoples over sweet, shallow and new relationships. Please do not bother me with this crap. 

This has happened to me on 5 different occasions by as many people, is this the new way to express your happiness? To show it to the people who you know are at rock bottom? Its cruel.

This week has also been the start of the dreaded diet. 
Exercise, meal replacement shakes and healthy eating.
Fuck my life. Dont talk to me about food or diets.
I love food so much and it makes me so happy. 
This diet is making me miserable.

Oh well...

Im also reading lots at the minute and have reignited my love for reading.
Ask me what and ill tell you ....


Gracie 
xxx

Being half and half

Dear Readers,

I have neglected my blog lately. 

I have not been keeping everyone up to date with the updates and goings on with the life of Grace.

Life is Cornwall is a lot easier and a lot more laid back.

Although of course I am missing all the girls and all the people who I have met in Bath and everything that goes along with that. 

I think I will feel that I never really belong wherever I am living. 

When in Bath I miss my family and the Cornish folk. However when I am in Cornwall I miss my girls who live in Bath and I never feel like I really find my feet and truly settle.

However one day I think ill find somewhere and Ill be happy where I end up.

Until then.... Ill carry on moving around. 

Difficulties also arise in being half Cornish and half a Londoner. I feel I never truly get accepted into either side of the family due to the way I talk. 

What is my accent?

Hahahha. 

Obviously this comes with age, I guess that during this transitional period I will soon discover what I am and who I am.

I would be interested to hear what people think about where they come from and what this says about them etc... esp with being half and half ...

Thanks all.

Gracie 

Feminism

Dear All,
As you are aware I am unwillingly living with two very unpleasant human beings. One a female. Two a male.
The male, is living rent free in my house. In a house of girls with his female girlfriend. Despite asking her to tell him to leave the two are constantly here.
They have stolen our possessions and are refusing to vacate. The law is not on our side.

Talking to people about my situation; I am often told to ;
1) Kick them out
2) Drag them out 
3) Punch them 
4) Throw their stuff out
..... and this all would end our problems.

And there is only one reason I am in this awful housing situation, and that is because I have a vagina.

For some reason, me having a vagina allows this male to automatically control situations. 

I can not forcible remove him because I was born with a vagina. 

Although I have the physical strength to hurt him. He also has the physical strength and capability of hurting me. And I live in fear of this.

There is also the social a astigmatism associated with me going up to this male and striking him. This is not expected of me as I am a woman. I would be frowned upon if I was to strike a man, a stronger physically character because I have a vagina. 

This Male would not be making a mock of us financially and physically if we have dicks. The fact is this male treats us like shit because he knows we cannot remove him. 

A man would have removed him and demanded our stuff back. But we are scared of him becuase hes taller and bigger than us. 

Its sad that in 2014 that 5 females are forced to feel scared in their own homes because of this mans presence. We are unable to remove him. And he knows this.

The irony is ... his girlfriend is a deep feminist. Who is happy to subject her housemates to threats of physical violence in order to allow him to stay 7 nights a week.

I would argue that this females reliance on a male within her own life and in order to repress and oppress the females she lives with, deeply contradicts her feminist stance.

She uses his influence to bully and manipulate us. She is reliant on a male for her power and controll and I am afraid to say that we are under their tyranny.

Damn you Vagina. Damn you.

Sorry for getting down your throats with the feminism.

Oh and can I please have some more comments and responses on my blog please ????

Gracie xxxx 

Clumsy is the new sexy

Dear all (Switching it up),
 I feel that I should start writing some blogs that really live up to my name as "Calamity Grace".
Being 6ft and a woman I do attract lots of unwanted attention and height related questions from the general public. The biggest downsize of being tall is being clumsy. And I literally am the clumsiest person you will ever meet. 

My mums favorite one liner is ; before she introduces me to people  : "I don't know why we called her Grace, shes the least graceful person  I know". Although I hate her saying this, as I have heard it 19 years of my life, it is factually accurate. 

Yesterday was completely average; and here is a list of things that happened it about 2 hours. This is the gods honest truth. And all I did was go to the gym.

1) Spotify stopped playing on my phone for no reason and then froze.
2) This is turn froze my nike running app.
3) Then my phone armband started sliding off.
4) This then caused my headphones to get jammed in the axis of the running machine.
5) So I gave up on the running machine and tried the cross trainer. Where I went to get a drink, ended up squirting water (from one of them lucazade bottles) all down my top.
6) Dont worry I can run this off. No..... my leg came off the cross trainer and fell in the middle barrier where my other leg was still running which resulted in my running over my own leg. Nice. Ouch.
7) Carried my mat over to the mat pile. Almost dropped my mat on a person.
8)Leaving the gym. Shaking my protein shaker. Without the lid on. Cover the floor in protein mix. People all stare and me ... I panicked and said "Its not sick" ... I then had to clean it up in front of everyone. 
9) Came home to tell Lucy of the protein shaker drama... only to react it ... doing the exactly the same thing but in my lounge. 

This is all true. This is my life. This happened. 

This is why I am  Calamity Grace. 

Black Fish.... You literally need to watch it !

Dear Readers (I am really struggling how to start these bloody things),
Doubled my views on this blog in a week so that's good. I think.

Things have calmed down in the house so that's cool, we are all in the midst of revision so we are all very happy and very cheery and full of the joys of spring. Definitely not on the verge of an argument. 

So I watched "Black Fish" the other day. Wow. Just Wow. I literally didn't want it to end. I watched it back to back because I was literally so amazed by it. It not only was insanely well directed and prodcuced , but they managed to get people on the documentary who actually knew what they were talking about, old trainers, specialists, owners, neuroscience experts, the poachers ! This in whole is a very well put together documentary. Enjoyed it immensely despite the negative subject and imagery used. 

This still truely astounds me that SeaWorld keep these amazing animals in enclosures that are just way too small in entertainment that is really glorified bear baiting. Its sickening. These animals are scientifically proven to be more emotionally intelligent than us. There emotional part of the brain is twice as large as us. And we are ripping them away from their babies and making them dance and wag their tales for us. 

Think it is amazing that in the wild there has never been an attack on humans by a killerwhale, chuck them in a pool and make them perform for food .... there you go ! You are pushing these animals to the brink of insanity. 

I think wild animals should be wild.

It just disgusting that in 2014 this kind of practice of capturing animals and making them perform for money is still happening. 

However there was a very touching part of the documentary at the end when the old trainers went into the wild to watch wild killer whales. They blubbed and of course I blubbed. 

I don't want to give too much away about it because I want everyone to go out there and watch it !!! 
Its on IPlayer so just go and watch it !!

I don't know anyone who wouldn't enjoy it. Despite it being a difficult watch. It makes you feel all warm and gooey inside.

Cheers, Gracie

The Simple Life

Dear Readers,
Now for a more positive theme, topic, thought whatever.
Here goes...
I had a very enjoyable night last night. It was simple. Wagamamas, my darling friend Steph and a bottle of white wine. Nothing special. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. Just a bowl of hot yummy food that of course we could not pronounce, and a bit of wine on a bank holiday Monday.

Yes of course our bums hurt from sitting on the benches.
Yes of course our food came a different times.
Yes of course we couldn't use the chopsticks very well.
Yes of course the waiting staff were way to friendly and ultimately very annoying.
Yes of course we were sat uncomfortably close to strangers.

But, we did make the most of it. We walked there in the pissing rain. We walked back in the pissing rain.

Enjoyed a god old chin wag about our friends, our foes, our futures, our pasts. And it was really just rather lovely.

Good food and good company.

I am a creature of simple pleasures. So a bit of Steph and an overpriced glorified pot noodle did it for me.

Life is good.

Gracie